HUSBAND-BEATER!

Last night, presumably as I was bad or something, my wife beat me...with my own car! Yes, it is true - the MINI was used as a weapon to infict maximum damage on me. She waited until I was standing underneath the boot, arms full of shopping, before she *JUMPED* with all her weight and *SLAMMED* the bootlid onto my shoulder. Luckily I didn't drop the wine. Needless to say I had a sleepless night - both through the agony of the bruising and the FEAR of a repeat attack!

'k ok - the image above is not *actually* me. I don't visably bruise much so I had to resort to someone else's injuries to emphasise my own...